Following God One Step at a Time

Christian Marriage Myth

Many Christians think they take the same vows as other people who get married, but that is not true!


If you and your spouse are Christians, and were married by a minister, did you know you agreed to a covenant relationship?  Do you even know what a covenant relationship is?  I didn’t know!  It is very important to know this whether you are already married, or if you may marry someday.  (By the way, I was married, then divorced after 23 years, and now am married to another man for 16 years.  Although I had a much better idea about what marriage involved the second time, I still did not know I was in a covenant relationship.)

First of all, it is important to understand that a covenant is made with a vow between two people, or between a person and their country, or between God and a person or country.  For example, God made a covenant with Abraham and his descendants, and with Israel.   In marriage, two people take vows to each other.  Covenant vows are intact until the death of one.

So what vows did you take (or will take) at your wedding?  Most people forget what they said, but it is important to know the vows you promised.

Usually Christians would take vows like these –

“Will you have this woman/man to be your lawful wedded wife/husband, to live together after God s ordinance in the Holy Estate of Matrimony?  Will you love, comfort, honor, and keep her/him in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep you only unto her/him as long as you both shall live?  I take thee, to be my wedded (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish forever, according to God s Holy Ordinance, and thereto I give thee my pledge.” 

(To read the traditional Christian wedding ceremony in full, click here.)

As long as you both shall live” or “until death do us part”, says the covenant lasts until one of you dies.  The exception for a Christian marriage, is that adultery can justify a divorce.

I give thee my pledge” is the vow part.  Sometimes people use “I promise to ….”

God intends a Christian marriage to glorify God through the covenant marriage relationship, and to show the love of Jesus to each other.  The couple vows to love each other, comfort each other, honor your wife/husband, and take care of each other even when sick.  The couple also vows to never seek the relationship of any other person for romance or intimacy.  (Yeah, that is the adultery part.)

This is pretty serious stuff!  Why wasn’t this explained before the wedding?  It may have been, or maybe not.  We tend to be blinded by love and stressed out and afraid, when we say the vows of marriage.  Either way, the vows are binding, as long as you chose to get married of your own free will.

A married couple is supposed to have unconditional love for each other.  They are supposed to obey their vows even when they don’t feel like it.  Some days that is easier than other days.  Usually, couples can work through issues and problems, bearing in mind their love for each other, and believing that God wants them to succeed in their covenant marriage relationship.

Every Christian also has a covenant relationship with God.

We are supposed to obey God, and He promises certain blessings and faithfulness to us.  Keeping your marriage vows is part of obeying God.  So the next time an argument with your spouse has you thinking about divorce, don’t even think about it!  You don’t want to break your covenant to your spouse and God at the same time.  Your life will be in a much bigger mess than just arguing with your spouse.  You promised to love, honor, and take care of them until death.

The vows you took in your wedding ceremony, God is holding you to that promise!


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10 Audacious Truths

This is my book review of “Worth Living” by Mary DeMuth.

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Mary says there are 10 audacious truths, she wants to share with you.

If you think you are not good enough.  If you think God is unhappy with you.  You need to read this book.

Mary DeMuth comes from a childhood of abuse, and she thought she was not worthy of love.  Jesus changed her life, and this book tells you that now she knows she is worth loving, and her life is “Worth Living”, and so is yours.

Mary wants you to know that you are not alone.  Other people feel unworthy of love, and other people feel insecure and tired of the endless work, with no joy.  She was one of them.  She has dealt with depression, too.

You need to know the truths that she has found in her relationship with God.  Mary says there are 10 audacious truths that tell you why you are worthy of love.

In the book, she writes that we are not perfect, but God loves us anyway.  We are not always good, but God loves us anyway.  People may leave us, but God will never leave us.

In her book, Mary says that we think we are unworthy, so we build walls around our heart to keep from being hurt.  Those walls need to come down with God.  When we do that, we will understand our worthiness in a whole new light.  Jesus is that light.  He has the power to make us worthy.

This is a book for people who feel worthless, or unloved.  This is a book for people who are depressed and need hope.  This is a book for people who are tired of living a life full of stress, hurt, and hardship.   This is a book for people who are broken.  If you are one of these people, then read this book.  It could really help you.  Mary lived a life like you, and now she has a new life.  She wrote this book to help others like her.

You can buy this book at .  If you buy the book before May 20, you can also get a free downloadable copy of Mary’s book “Beautiful Battle” by emailing a copy of your receipt to her.  Get details at

You can also download the first chapter for free, so you can start reading right away by going to



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I Have a Question

Janet ThyWillBeDone

Have you survived something that left you with scars?

How did you survive it?

Are you in the middle of a difficult problem that leaves you feeling like your life is crashing down around you?  How do you deal with it?

Are you being accused of something you did not do?  What is your response?

Do you run away? Do you yell? Do you hide? Do you defend yourself?

Or do you grab hold of your faith in God and push through the problem, deal with it full of faith that God will get you through this?

If you do this, you will emerge stronger, wiser, and with a deeper faith in God.  You will know that God is always with you.  You will know that with faith in God you can handle any problem.  You will know that you are better prepared for the next problem

And those scars? The scars remind you that you fought a fierce battle, and with God’s help, you survived it.  You can’t live this life on your own.  You need God.  You need your faith in God.

Here are three examples of people who grabbed hold of their faith in God to deal with a major problem.  Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego —

Daniel 3:5-6 …you must fall down and worship the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar has set up.  Whoever does not fall down and worship will immediately be thrown into a blazing furnace.

Daniel 3:12 …Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego—who pay no attention to you, Your Majesty. They neither serve your gods nor worship the image of gold you have set up.”

Daniel 3:16-18 …Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter.  If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand.  But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.

These three men did not change their behavior, but a new law could bring their lives to an end.  Yet, they did not defend their behavior, nor run, nor hide, nor yell, nor beg for mercy.  These three men grabbed hold of their faith in God, and knew that God would bring them through this, even if it meant they would die and go to God in Heaven. 

Miraculously they are thrown into the fiery furnace, and come out with no injuries.  God could have left them alive, but scarred.  They could have died.

No matter the outcome, they knew that the best way to deal with this problem was to grab hold of their faith in God.

Imagine how strong their faith is after this miracle!

 Several times in the Bible Jesus says “Your faith has healed you.” 

In Luke 7:50, Jesus also says “Your faith has saved you.” 

This is the power of faith! 



Hello, Jesus Called

My book review of “Jesus Called”, He wants His church back by Ray Johnston —

The author says that Americans have lost their innocence, have lost love, values, faith and hope.  He says to get them back, we need to get Jesus back in the church and in our lives.  We need our lives to reflect what Jesus taught in the Bible.  I am excited to do some of the things in this book.  I found the book encouraging and nothing in it is too hard to do.

The author says that without Jesus, we are critical of others, selfish, opinionated, joyless, and put our focus on the wrong things.  The first half of the book outlines the problems with our lifeless faith and lifeless church.  The statistics show that about 5,000 churches in the United States, close their doors every year Less than 20% of Americans regularly attend church.

The rest of the book switches its focus to explaining who Jesus is and what following Him looks like.  The author gives many examples from his church, Bayside Church, one of the largest churches in the United States.  For example, Bayside put this sign in front of their church

Nobody’s perfect.  Everyone’s welcome.  Anything’s possible.

Contrast this with a sign the author saw at the entrance to another church –- “The wages of sin is death”. —

But what they left out was the best part of the Scripture (Romans 6:23) – “but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord”.  Which sign makes you feel more welcome?  Which sign makes you want to come to church again?  Our attitude toward people makes all the difference, if we want to attract new people to church and keep others coming back.

The author believes that everyone matters to Jesus!  So it follows that everyone should matter to us Christians.  The author is saying that our hearts in America are far from Jesus (as Jesus said in Matthew 15:8).

One of the ways, the author says we can get Jesus back in our lives and churches, is to read the Bible and study its meaning.  Very few people do this.  Many churches do not even do this in the sermons.  If you want to have a closer relationship with Jesus, get connected to Him by reading His Word!

Also, quoting the author (p.186), “When the Christian church gets it right, showing people the real Jesus and letting His light shine, there is no more powerful force on planet Earth for God, for good, or for changing lives”.

The author says that many people are afraid to evangelize and tell people about Jesus.  So don’t.  Just invite people to come to church with you.  That’s simple.  Then let God and the church work on their belief in Jesus.

I highly recommend you read this book.  It could change your life!  After all, Jesus called and He wants to talk with you.

Jesus Called” is available at Amazon to read a bit of it, see more reviews, or buy it now!

I got this book for free from the publisher through Booklook Bloggers, so I could write this honest review.  I have used Bible Gateway to link Bible quotes so you can read the full verse.

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Are You Faithful?

This blog is about Faith, Faith Counts, so this is a huge topic to jump into, but it was the sermon topic at our church this weekend, so I feel the need to cover at least one piece of this topicbeing faithful.

Faithfulness is one of the fruits of the Spirit, so we know God wants us to be faithful.

He wants us to have love, and be loving.

He wants us to have joy, and be joyful.

He wants us to have peace, and be peaceful,

to have patience, and be patient,

to have kindness, and be kind,

to have goodness, and be good,

to have faithfulness, and be faithful,

to have gentleness, and be gentle,

to have self-control, and be self-controlled.

(The fruit of the Spirit are found in Galatians 5:22-23.)

This shows that each fruit of the Spirit is both a noun, a thing to possess, to have, AND it is a verb, something to do, to become

Now I am thinking this through as I go, and then I will read it over, and see if it makes sense.  If not, I will make changes, but it is the Holy Spirit, not me that puts these blog posts together.  I just put it down in words to try to make sense for you and for me.  We are both learning in this process.

So to have faithfulness, is to possess faith to the full.

That means we are to be filled up with faith in God and in God’s Word.

There is no other faith that matters

No matter how much faith you have in other stuff, I don’t want to hear it!  It does not matter.

So if we are filled up with faith in God and His Word, then every day we will be faithful.

That’s the verb part.  The part where we take the thing we possess, faithfulness, and we become faithful.  We are to be faithful.

Hmm.  Now what do you suppose being faithful looks like?

Being faithful looks like Abraham getting his whole family together and moving to a place unknown, because God told him to.

Being faithful looks like Noah building the biggest ship ever, in the middle of a hot, dry country, because God told him to.

Being faithful looks like Esther walking into the King’s court without permission, because God put her in the position of Queen for just such a time, to save God’s people.

Being faithful looks like Mary, telling Joseph the truth about her pregnancy, and Joseph keeping Mary as his wife, and both raising Jesus as their son, so He can save the world.

Now I bet you can think of a time you were faithful.  Think about it…

Here is an example of my own to help give you an idea.  I was divorced, and I met a minister who was also divorced. (Please note, we were both divorced, and then we met.) We got married, despite our past mistakes, because God brought us together and blessed our marriage.  People tried to talk us out of getting married.  We were a bit afraid of making a new commitment of marriage after each suffering through a difficult divorce.  We followed what we believed God was telling us to do.  We got married.  We are still happily married 16 years later.  Not only did we step into being faithful with a new marriage, and a blended family with three grown kids, and two teenagers, but we became even more faithful walking on in that marriage… through jobs ending, moving across the country, leaving the ministry, getting involved in another church, new jobs, battling cancer, and loving nine new grandchildren…  Oh yes, we are full of faithfulness, and are faithful every day.  

We could not survive this life without being faithful in God and His Word!

So now, it’s your turn to share one of your examples of being faithful to God and His Word, by sharing your story in the comments below, or send them to me at my email shown in the right hand column of this post.  Thank you for reading this post, and thank you even more if you share your story.



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Have Fun and Live Free Women Only

My Book Review of “Live Free” by Margaret Feinberg –

This is my first coloring book for adult Christians.  I love it!

Margaret Feinberg and Bethany House Publishers did a great job designing this book!  The pages are thick.  Each design to color has a Bible verse in it.  The pictures to color are intricate enough to be interesting and take some time to color.  This allows enough time to memorize the verse if you repeat it while you color, or just think about the Scripture and let your mind ponder it. 

I chose to first color the picture for the verse Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ, & it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.”

On the page next to the picture, the same Scripture is typed, and there is room for you to write notes about the Scripture.  I wrote, “I would be dead without Jesus.  If Christ lives in me, then Jesus should be my top priority.”  He has not been my top priority.  He has been very important, but He needs to be 1st in my mind and heart, 1st in my day.

Who knew a coloring book could bring out such truth?  Maybe it’s the clear simple design of 1 Scripture on 2 pages, and taking the time to color and think about the Scripture, and write down your thoughts.  I don’t normally spend much time thinking about one Bible verse.  Most Bible studies cover a whole book of the Bible, or a topic linking many different verses.  Even sermons I hear, are usually about a topic, not just one verse.

I look forward to coloring the rest of the book.  The book has 20 pictures to color with 20 different Scriptures to learn about. 

I think this is going to be a very fun project, coloring these twenty Scripture pictures!

Margaret has 3 coloring books in the series so far –“ Live Loved”,” Live Free”, and “Live Fearless”.  They are all available to purchase at and  and .   See which book you want to start with!

Just a side note, I am using color ink pens, highlighter markers, and a few sharpies. You can use whatever you like, but put a piece of scratch paper behind your coloring page, to avoid bleeding through to another picture.


Come one, Come all

We have been invited!

I have wondered what following Jesus is like.  It seems scary.  I know I haven’t done it much, even though I am a Bible studying Christian.  Mostly I have been leading small groups, attending weekly church and worshiping God, praying a lot, donating money, and sponsoring children from other countries.  I think there is more to it than that.

After a great weekend worship service this week, and some reading and thinking, I realized that Jesus says, “Come, follow me…” in Matthew 4:19.  He doesn’t say, “Go and follow me.” That would suggest that you are to go out on your own and do what He did.  No, Jesus says, “Come follow me.” Now that suggests He is going with us!  That sounds a whole lot more fun and a bit less scary.

And since we would be following Him, He is doing the leading.  That takes away some of the doubts and fears of where to go and what to do.  He also makes that an invitation, not a command.  I like having a choice.

 In John 8:12, Jesus also says, “…Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”  It is good to know that when we follow Him we will travel in the light, not in the dark.

In John 10:27, Jesus says, “My sheep listen to my voice.  I know them and they follow me.”  So not only is He leading the way, but He is talking to us, encouraging us to keep following Him.  He is probably also giving us some directions.  I can imagine hearing Him say something like “Just over that ridge, you will find some fresh water and soft grass to rest in.”

Now, in Mark 8:34, Jesus talks to a crowd.   And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Here is where I see that Jesus is inviting everyone to follow Him.  He has added something though.  Here He is asking them to deny their self and take up their own cross, and then follow Him.  I have heard different interpretations about this instruction from Jesus.  He seems to be warning us that we will need to leave behind some things that we like (deny yourself), and carry some things we probably won’t like (your cross), but He is still leading us as we follow Him.  Every trip I have ever taken, I left some things behind, and had more luggage to carry than I wanted.

There are other parts of the Bible where Jesus talks about following Him.  Some of them are invitations to specific people in the Bible.  But looking at the Scriptures I have mentioned here, encourages me to try to do more following Jesus, and less worrying about it. 

If you have read some of my recent blog posts, you will know that I am trying to live my life more intentionally.  Choosing to follow Jesus, not just be a Christian, has now become one of my life intentions.  This just might change the rest of my life.  Yikes!  Do you want to follow Jesus more too?

If you have some experience following Jesus, maybe you can comment below, or add a link to your blog post where you talk about it.


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To Choose or Not To Choose

The decision to choose or not to choose is essential to your life, to every person’s life.  Greg McKeown is an expert on this subject, called “Essentialism”.

This is my Book Review of “Essentialism, The Disciplined Pursuit of Less” by Greg McKeown. 

This book is useful to anyone wanting to live intentionally, or wanting to have a more purposeful life.   I chose to read it, because I am trying to live more intentionally, and my One Word for 2016 is “Re-focus”.  I learned so much from this book.  I now have more goals to reach for, and have a better understanding of what living intentionally means.

After reading this book, I determined that “an essentialist is intentional, but a person who is living intentionally is not necessarily an essentialist.  I now believe I am both.  This book helped me clarify that.

(Because I usually review Christian books, I just need to tell you, if you are wondering whether this book is a Christian book or not, it is not.  However, it does fit into the Christian life.  In my opinion, there is nothing in it counter to Christianity, and it can be helpful to both Christians and non-Christians.)

If you sometimes feel overwhelmed, or you are not getting anything important done, or you are not sure what to do next, then this book is for you!

Some people accomplish a little in 100 different directions.  Other people accomplish a great deal, in just 1 or 2 directions.  Which would you rather do?  If you want what other people do, to accomplish much in a couple key areas of your life, then you should read this book!

To help you understand what this book is about, and what “essentialism” is, here are some key ideas from the book –

  • Do less better
  • Actively pursue less
  • Make wise choices
  • Say “No” more often
  • Set a few absolute priorities
  • Clarify your life’s purpose

One key idea the author says several times in the book –-

If you don’t make a choice, someone else will choose for you.

 If you think about it, this is very true.  If we don’t know what we want to do next, someone will ask us to do something, or something will get our attention, and we are suddenly doing something we did not purposely choose.  It could be helping someone with their project, or cleaning out the closet at home, either is a possible choice, but not likely to be the best use of your time.

So what is the 1 thing you totally want to do right now?  Choose to do that!


I borrowed this book from the library.  You can read a portion of the book and purchase it at The author, Greg McKeown, also has other books on this subject available at Amazon.

If you want to read more about living intentionally, you can look at my posts on 3 other books I really enjoyed. —

10 Days to a More Organized Home, on the book “Organized Simplicity” by Tsh Oxenreider

Born to Die, on the book “Make It Happen” by Lara Casey

Book Review on a Blue Bike, on the book “Notes From a Blue Bike” by Tsh Oxenreider



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A Borrower, a Lender, or a Slave

A Borrower, a Lender, or a Slave — Are you any of these?

Most of us are borrowers, and many of us are lenders (to friends or family if not in business).  Many of us are slaves and don’t even know it.

Quoting Proverbs 22:7, “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.”

I am a borrower.  I owe money for a car, and for a house.  I never felt like a slave to the bank owner, but the Bible says I am a slave if I have borrowed money.  The rich certainly do seem to rule over the poor.  That makes them a master who rules over the slave.  I have been a lender.  I don’t like to pester or twist an arm to get my money paid back.

Ever have a bill that keeps coming every month?  You have paid some of it, but there is still a balance.  Every month you get another bill, possibly with interest added.  Each month, you worry and fret over it, because you can’t pay off the whole bill yet.  How frustrating, right?  Owing money to anyone is stressful.  Did you realize you made yourself a slave to them?

This situation causes worry and work for the person owed money, too.  If you have a small business, do you like it when someone hasn’t paid their full bill, month after month?  You might worry that maybe they didn’t like what they bought.  Maybe they think it cost too much.  Maybe they won’t pay it all back, ever.  Will you need to go through collections? This is stressful, too.

There is a similar situation when you resent what someone has done or said.  You have held a grudge, instead of forgiving them.  In effect, they are on the hook to you.  They owe you an apology, but they haven’t given one.  They may regret it, but you still feel wronged.

Wouldn’t the best thing be to not get in these situations at all?

One way is to not lend money, nor borrow money.  Pay off every bill each month in full.  Most of us have at least one loan though, that we need to make payments on.

If you did loan money, and they can’t pay it, you can write it off, and tell them the loan is cancelled (sometimes called forgiven).  That is less stressful than going to collections.

You can also choose not to be offended by what people say or do.  This is hard to do 100% of the time. If you do get offended, you can choose to forgive the offense, or you can give them the chance to apologize by talking to them about your feelings.  If you offended someone, you can apologize.

Nobody likes a debt hanging over their head.  Nobody likes to get mean to get the money owed to them.  Nobody wants to be a slave.

Realizing the borrower is always a slave, whether you lend money or borrow money,  will definitely make me try to avoid getting loans, or giving loans.  I don’t want to dread the end of each month because I don’t have enough money to pay all my bills.  I don’t like being a slave.  I don’t like being a master to a slave either, because I don’t want to go to court over money owed to me. 

What choices did I make?

I choose not to borrow, except for a car and a house.  All other bills, I pay off each month.  I would love to be totally debt free, but I haven’t quite been able to do that on a car, paying it off in about 4 years is the best I have been able to do.  I have always done a 30-year mortgage on a house.  I see this similar to renting.   I will be paying for a place to live every month one way or the other.

 I choose not to be offended by what people say or do.  This comes from a book I read called “Unoffendable” by Brant Hansen.  He gives really good advice for Christians. (For more info on that see my post on the book.)When I can’t seem to get something out of my head no matter what, and do feel offended, I choose to forgive.  Or I talk with the person, and give them a chance to apologize.  Either way I forgive.

What choices have you made in your life?  Are you happy with your choices?  Hopefully your choices have made your life enjoyable, and not full of anxiety and stress.  Are you a borrower and slave, or lender and master? Are you forgiving?  Or do you hold grudges?

What is good about our forgiving God is that He will always forgive us, so we can choose to make better choices tomorrow. 

Found in Proverbs 8:10-11, “Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is more precious than rubies…”


26-year old woman suffers major stroke

Katherine Wolf had a 6-month old son, when she suffered a normally lethal brain stem stroke.  The Neurosurgeon doctor did not know if he should even try to save her, but he operated anyway, and amazingly she lived!  The book “Hope Heals” is her story.

HopeHeals cover

This is my Book Review of “Hope Heals” by Katherine and Jay Wolf.

This book is so inspirational!  It takes a tragic life and shows God’s good in it.  Everyone who reads it can see where they can find God’s good in their own life.  Katherine says in the book, “God spoke into that mess and revealed truth…”  The stroke had made a mess of her life, and her husband Jay’s life.  Together they tell their story.

Katherine says, “We have learned that when everything else is gone, hope remains.”  They overcame the difficulties with hope.  For them, hope healed their lives.

I was really touched by Dr. Gonzales struggling with the decision whether to do the brain surgery on Katherine or not, because of the difficulty and the uncertain results.  He did do the surgery, and that gave Katherine a chance to live.  With that chance, she took it and ran (actually more like limped), and she has made a great life, inspiring others with her life story, and never giving up, because God gave her a second chance to live her life. 

The book gave me an interesting view of Dr. Gonzales, his motivation, his decisions in Katherine’s care.  I had a doctor that made that type of decision for me, when most doctors would have decided not to operate, but my doctor also chose to do the surgery (removing multiple tumors, stage 3 cancer).  I feel that God chose that doctor for me, because He knew the doctor would do the surgery, and give me a second chance at life.  I believe God chose Dr. Gonzales to do Katherine’s surgery, because he would decide to do the life-saving surgery.  Now I hope I can be challenged to do what Katherine did with her second chance. 

I was amazed at the supportive family and friends Katherine and Jay had throughout their ordeal.  They were there with them through everything.  They were praying, but they also made meals, and took care of their baby son.  Jay says that people all over the world were praying for Katherine.  This young family would not have survived without all those supportive people.  Katherine would not have survived without Dr. Gonzales.  Katherine would not have survived without her husband Jay. 

As a cancer survivor, I understand that sometimes it is hard for a survivor to accept all that help.  Sometimes it is hard for a survivor to understand why those people wanted to be so helpful, and why God wanted her to survive.  Katherine chose to take the help and do as much as she could with it.  She just didn’t know what she would be able to do.  She just knew she had to try.

This book is about the reality of life. It is about tragedy, pain, and struggle. It is about love, and it is about hope. 

Hope Heals” is an amazing true story that will encourage you and challenge you.  It’s a sad, but joyful story.  I am so glad I chose to read it.

You can read more about the book, and purchase it here.

You can find out more about Katherine and Jay on their website.



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