Following God One Step at a Time

3 Questions to Ask Before Telling the Truth

on January 25, 2015

As Christians, we believe that the Bible is Truth.

We are asked to speak the truth with love. (in Ephesians 4:15)

Have you noticed though, that many people,

do not want the truth?

They may even get offended when you tell them the truth.

So sometimes I avoid answering a question,

because I know they do not want my truthful answer.

Sometimes I tell them what they want to hear,

as with “Yes, your new jacket is really nice.” (even though it isn’t)

Then there are times, when I feel that I must answer truthfully.

Telling the truth means taking a risk —

risking that the person will get mad or upset.

There have been times when I felt the truth was worth the risk.

There have been other times, when I wish I would have just kept quiet.

When is it worth the risk to tell the truth?

Is it more important to tell the truth?

Or is it more important not to cause hurt feelings?

In Ephesians Chapter 4, Paul says that

we should only say what is helpful for building others up.

Further, he says we should be kind and compassionate to one another.

Choosing to speak up, makes us walk a thin line

between telling the truth in love and being helpful,

or saying something that is not kind.

Sometimes, I may not like hearing the truth,

but I prefer to know the truth instead of believing a lie.

Knowing the truth, I can then deal with it.

Why would I want to live based on a lie?

I lived for years, believing that a family member was trustworthy.

I believed what he told me.  I trusted him.  I helped him.  I stood up for him.

Then I found out the truth. 

He was lying, pretending to be someone he was not.

When someone told me the truth about him,

I was devastated, but I was glad to know the truth.

Knowing the truth, I could take steps to confront him,

and leave him out of my life, because he was not willing to try to change.

This was very difficult, but my life was much better,

after finding out the truth.

When I try to tell others the truth,

I do get some people upset. 

I don’t always find that line between being helpful, and being critical.

Sometimes I have to apologize for hurting someone.

For me, the truth can be worth the risk,

especially if it involves bad behavior, a false belief, or a lie.

One measure I use, is to ask myself 3 questions,

1 –“If it was me would I want to know the truth?”

2 — “Is it something they can fix or make better?”

3 — “Is anyone in any danger?”

If no is the answer to all three questions, I keep quiet.

If I’m not sure about my answers, I stay quiet.

If yes is the answer to 1 or more questions, I speak the truth.

Maybe these 3 questions will help you decide when to tell the truth.


2 responses to “3 Questions to Ask Before Telling the Truth

  1. allycarter1 says:

    Thanks for sharing this, I loved the three questions at the end, they are so helpful, especially for someone like me who often needs to learn when to keep her mouth shut.


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